That's how my May went...

May was pivotal, for me at least. I turned the big 45, we found a great home to move to in July...Billericay here we come! ...and I was diagnosed with Synovial Sarcoma, a rare type of cancer. 
Whilst the first two were whooo hooo!, the last one felt like one of those moments in life where there’s a distinct before, line drawn, and then ...after. 
Since then it’s been the mad dash in and out of London for daily radiotherapy and being meticulous about the conservation of my time and energy. 
I’ve seen things that have left an indelible stamp upon my soul and met some truly remarkable people. I’ve unraveled the thoughts that I’m never to ask for help and instead placed myself in the hands of loved ones and strangers alike. 
I’ve seen how incredibly blessed I am. 
When I first found out, in my usual style I went into fight mode. I was gonna kick cancer’s ass. Hell, I’ve got work to do. But then I was talking to this lady who has travelled this path before and she said something which made me stop in my tracks. She said “ Deb, this is you. These are your cells. Even the cancer is still you. You’ve got to love it. “ And I’ve been kind and compassionate to every part of me since. This experience deserves respect and gentleness. I deserve it. 
The one takeaway I have had from this part of my journey is how unbelievably powerful love is. I see parents with their children, partners with their loved ones, siblings and friends all being human barriers to this disease, like a wall of care placed around the heart, soul and body of the person undergoing treatment. 
And that, in my humble opinion, is the only thing that matters in this world and quite literally the only thing we can take with us into the next. 
To love and to be loved, whether by a partner, friend, a pet, or you loving yourself in your entirety. Whichever capacity works best for you. 
All the other stuff is just filler. Don’t get lost in that stuff. That’s not where the juice is. 
Life is what happens whilst we are busy making plans. Enjoy the small things. 
Now let’s see where June takes me...
Hugs, Deb 💖✨🦋 xoxo